My first month as a mom: a review

Time has gone by both slow and fast, if that makes any sense.  It was going at a snail's pace the first week at 3A.M. when Hubby and I were both frantic not knowing what to do with our crying baby (OK I was franctic).  I remember thinking, "when will all this madness stop?"  When I think about it at this very moment, a month has gone by fast.  The first two weeks were hard.  This 8 lb 11oz (now 11 lbs) human being was calling all the shots: when I sleep, when I can eat or when I can shower.  She still does but it's getting better.  I was hormonal, overwhelmed and scared as heck.  What did I sign up for?  Is this what I really wanted?  I remember looking at my body the first time after having Emily and thinking, "OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED?!"  It was a brief moment of hysteria followed by a moment of mourning for my former body.  By no means did I have a bangin' body before pregnancy but I knew it was never going to be the same and it was going to take hard work to get back to feeling like myself again.

Staying at home with Emily this month has had its up and downs.  The ups totally outweigh the downs ofcourse, but they're still there.  I still feel lonely at times and overwhelmed every now and then.  I always question my decisions and am constantly on google or thebump to make sure I did it right or what other moms have done.  This week I was starting to get stressed because Emily hadn't pooped since Monday.  She was farting up a storm and giving me false alarms, but no poop.  I was constantly online and ready to ask her pediatrician this morning when at 1A.M. she woke me up with a surprise!  How can a little person produce so much poop?!  It took four diapers for her to finish...  FOUR!  I was sleep deprived, my hands were covered with poop and I was ready to cry until she grinned the biggest smile of relief when she was done which made me laugh out loud and melted my heart at the same time. 

I'm also working on not beating myself up for things that don't get done around the house.  The cleaning will have to wait and the dishes will have to pile up.  And sadly, the dogs will have to cry a little bit while I spend my time trying to get Emily to sleep.  I hate the feeling of neglecting them but I guess it's practice for when I have to divide my attention between Emily and our next child.  I'm also trying to be less frantic when I'm alone with her.  I've already taken her out bymyself and I'm really proud of that because I thought I'd be a nervous wreck without Hubby just in case Emily went into full meltdown mode.  My body is slowly adjusting to the no sleep schedule and I enjoy being able to take time for myself every now and then to browse the aisles of Babies R Us (my new second home) or anywhere that allows me an hour of quiet time.  It doesn't make me feel selfish anymore that I need time to myself to unwind.  Happy mommy = happy baby. 

I started reading, "I was a good mom before I had kids" last night and I was LAUGHING OUT LOUD, nodding my head in agreement and falling in love with the book and I'm only a month in as a first time mom!  I miss having control over my day and miss lazy days of doing absolutely nothing in my pajamas but I know that time will fly by even faster and eventually the hardest nights of being a new parent will become the sweetest memory.  It's been a tough but GREAT month and I'm looking forward to what's ahead!

Sweet Memories

Squishy Cheeks!!!!

First shopping trip at Target with just Mommy: lasted 7 minutes