Week 5

Yesterday I took Emily and the girls outside for some fresh air and a short walk.  Emily loves being outside and she was busy taking in the view.  The girls were SO happy to be going on their second walk of the day.  Walking two crazy dogs with my left arm and pusing Emily's stroller with my right gave me a workout!  I should aim to do this everyday to shed the pregnancy pounds.  The only bad thing about the walk is that Minnie got a bee stuck in her fur, poor baby.

Emily was very fussy from 5PM-10PM last night and it was tough. 

Practicing Smiling with Mommy

Looking at the trees from her swing

My poor, poor babies.  Can't wait until Emily is old enough to play with them too

I need a cleaning crew

Why is my OCD and anxiety about cleaning getting so crazy?  It was never this bad before.  It's probably because I want to keep everything clean for Emily.  Not just clean, but spotless.  It's driving me insane because I don't have the time or energy to do the hardcore cleaning I want to do every time I see dust.  Why is there so much dust in this house???  The stress is on another level.

This is going to be me everyday

A friend sent me this book and I want to try putting Emily on a schedule.  Eat, activity, sleep.  We'll see how it turns out. 

Emily is becoming more and more alert during playtime.  She loves the view of outside from her swing, follows my gaze from side to side for a few minutes and is practicing different facial expressions.  I melt everytime she smiles.  They're accidental gas smiles but cute as heck!  The hardest thing for me right now is letting her cry for a few minutes when she's falling asleep.  I don't want to spoil her but as a first time mom, it's hard not to.  I want to comfort her and rock her to sleep on my chest every single time but it's not good for the both of us if this develops into a bad habit.  I'm not looking forward to sleep training or letting her cry it out when she gets older.  When Grandma comes over, everything goes out the window and Emily gets whatever she wants!

Fussy during breastfeeding :(

Fun Reads

My life currently revolves around trying to increase my supply, breastfeeding and pumping.  I got some books to keep me entertained during pumping sessions.

Belly Laughs was hilarious so I'm sure this one will be good too.

Today we had a good breastfeeding session.  Four hours of breastfeeding on and off until she fell asleep.  She woke up an hour later screaming so I had to give her some formula. 

It's still too early to tell but for the past few days, it seems like Emily is on a semi-predictable schedule.  She definitely stays awake during the day longer and enjoys time in her swing.  During the week, the magic time when Emily takes a long nap and I get to take a breather seems to be 4PM.  Time flies during the day!

I'm currently researching baby carriers and which kind is best for back support.  I'm so indecisive!  There are too many baby products out there to choose from!

Happy Sunday!

1 Month

Happy 1 Month my precious baby!!  It's been a crazy, amazing four weeks.  We took Emily to a new pediatrician yesterday.  I met with her when I was pregnant and she's closer to home.  The parking situation is a lot easier too which is a plus.

We started noticing a little blood in Emily's poop two days ago which totally freaked me out.  We discussed with her pediatrician and most likely, she has an allergy to the milk protein in her formula.  The pediatrician said it's common among Asian babies so we switched to Similac Soy.  If the blood continues to be in her poop we have to switch to Similac Alimentum because Emily might be allergic to soy also.  If the Similac Alimentum hypoallergenic formula doesn't work then we have to switch to yet another formula which is double the cost and purchased at specialty stores.  Whew!  Let's just hope the soy formula works.  She hasn't had blood in her poop since she's been eating the soy formula.

So the SNS system was a bust.  She did OK on my left breast but when I tried it on my right, all hell broke loose.  Emily managed to figure out how to suck just the tube and then there was formula EVERYWHERE!  She must remember it somehow because now when I breastfeed her on my right side, she gets really fussy and refuses to keep going even after she's established a great latch.  In theory, the SNS system would have been great but it's a lot of work and I don't want to make breastfeeding such an unpleasant and stressful situation for her.  Maybe by next month when she's more aware, breastfeeding will become easier.

SNS

SNS: Supplemental Nursing System a.k.a another attempt to breastfeed longer and increase my supply.  Since Emily started latching and I was able to breastfeed for half the feedings, I stopped pumping as often and my supply took a hit.  Yes, she was able to latch but would eat for 5-10 minutes, fall asleep and then wake up crying her head off because the milk either wasn't coming out fast enough or nothing was coming out at all.  You'd think her crying would trigger a let down, but nope! P.S. Let down: when a mother's milk starts to come out in response to her baby feeding.  I've read/heard that moms will leak or even spray milk at the sound of their baby's cries or even by looking at their baby.  It hasn't happened to me yet but I WISH the milk would come pouring out when Emily cries!  What gives?? Does my body not want to feed my baby??  Anyway, so at this point it's impossible to get her to latch again because she's too hungry and she's been spoiled by the plastic nipple so we finish the feeding with formula or any pumped breast milk by bottle. 

When we were in the hospital, the second lactation consultant I met with gave me a supplemental nursing system.  It's a thin tube that basically acts as a straw.  One end goes in the bottle and the other goes in baby's mouth.  Pretty self explanatory.  She showed me how to strengthen Emily's suck by putting the tube in her mouth along with my finger so she would be getting formula/pumped breastmilk while practicing her suck.  She advised that I use it during breastfeeding by slipping the tube in while Emily was latching.  Today I finally tried it (what took me so long?). 

It's a lot of work.  Basically I had the tube taped to my boob and had to alternate the elevation of the bottle to strengthen or weaken the flow.  The initial latch was harder because I had to make sure the tube didn't slip out of her mouth which would cause a leaky mess everywhere!  Once she latched, one hand was supporting her head and the other was holding the bottle.  I prayed that she wouldn't release the latch.  It took a couple tries but she breastfed for 20 minutes.  The longer she stays at the breast and actively sucks, the better my supply will be (hopefully).  I'm determined to try this for every feeding moving forward.  It'll be hard trying to have her give up the bottle cold turkey for the next week or so and it'll be a little more stressful for the both of us but I must try!  Middle of the night feedings will be harder because I'll have to be up longer and take over for the feeding that Hubby usually does.  Why do I feel like my breastfeeding adventures are starting to mimic MacGyver tactics??  I'm totally going to hum the MacGyver theme song in my head when I breastfeed now...

Medela Starter Supplemental Nursing System

NOT ME!!!!!! Just wanted to show what it looks like in action.

Medela SNS.  This one comes with a tube for each boob.  It was developed initially to help adoptive mothers induce lactation.  Cool huh?

This is the dual one.  The things mothers will do to breastfeed their babies!

I think Mirae was feeling a little neglected with all the attention I've been giving Emily trying to breastfeed her.  I left the Boppy out in the living room and found Mirae sleeping in it a couple of times.  SO CUTE!  Minnie doesn't care. 

Now more pictures of my chunky monkey!

Thank you Jessica 이모 for my pretty pink pillow!

Week 4

My chunky monkey is getting bigger!  Seems like just yesterday we brought her home from the hospital, *sniff sniff.*  She's more awake and alert during the day and during play time it seems like she can hold eye contact for a few seconds.  She's smiled a couple times (not on purpose) and when she gets fussy and cries, has the loudest cry ever! 

She looks cramped and uncomfortable in the small bassinet attachment for her pack and play.  Pretty soon we'll have to let her sleep on the mattress instead. 

Week 1 and Week 4.  She's growing up so fast!

The girls got a bath yesterday.  So fresh and so clean!

Growth Spurt?

Last night Emily was up every two hours and ate 4oz. like a champ.  She usually eats 3oz. and sleeps 3-4 hours at a time.  I think she's going through a growth spurt.  My chunky monkey loves to eat!  I'm still trying to breastfeed her almost every feeding but since I'm still not producing enough, we finish with formula or breastmilk/formula.  She falls asleep at the breast after 5-10 minutes and uses me as a pacifier most of the time but I don't mind it because it's our bonding time.  I could do without the back pain though. 

I'm still feeling the need to accomplish everything in the short amount of free time I have when Emily is sleeping.  I just can't let it go!  My body is slowly getting adjusted to being in zombie mode so I'll go-go-go until I completely burn out and get an hour or two of sleep during the day.  When I wake up, my entire body is sore and on occasion I have trouble remembering what day it is. 

I went to a friend's baby shower this weekend and it was good to be out and mingle with people.  Before I had Emily, I always thought I'd never be able to leave my new baby so soon and would have separation anxiety but I was fine.  I was only gone for a couple of hours and it helped to clear my head and "recharge my batteries."  I think it's important for me to have time for myself every now and then and not be too obsessed about leaving my baby.  I miss GNO and can't wait to go out again when I'm comfortable leaving Emily for longer periods of time as she gets older.  I need to learn to trust that she'll be ok with her Daddy.  Plus, it will give Hubby a chance to bond with our daughter. 

Tummy Time

Emily has been a little fussy today.  She's great when we have company though!  She's been going through diapers like crazy and eating more often.  We're both getting the hang of breastfeeding so every other feeding is the breast with a little formula to supplement afterwards.  I'm getting used to the pain and technique of it (it's hard work).  Emily and I both prefer the football hold.  I've been seeking tips and advice from other mom friends who have breastfed and I'm still constantly checking thebump.com forums asking questions and reading posts from other first time moms who are freaking out about the same things.  I'm still pumping when I can and the combination of breastfeeding/pumping is making me SO thirsty and HUNGRY! 

She enjoyed some tummy time today and of course I took 8490233498 pictures of the same thing. :)  These moments are going to fly by so fast so I need to capture them all!

She's getting bigger by the day

My OCD is still on overdrive lately but I have to learn to let it go so I can rest and focus 110% on Emily when I need to.  I'm having a hard time neglecting my to do list and letting some of the chores go undone.  Hubby has been great with helping out but he's just as tired as I am.  It really does make a difference having help with a newborn.  My mom is able to come once a week on her days off but I wish she was here everyday! 

I suspect my house will be looking like this in the next few weeks...

Happy Valentines Day! 3 Weeks Old

Emily is three weeks old today.  Yesterday she latched and I was able to breastfeed twice.  What a relief!  It was totally worth the toe curling pain!  No pain, no gain.  Hopefully we can keep this up and it'll get better and easier for the both of us.  If even just for one day, a break from bottles and pumping would be nice.

She is a little more active during the day and tries to lift her head often when we hold her up which means more tummy time when she's awake. 

Hubby and I are still in zombie mode and crazy tired but we're taking it day by day, moment by moment.

Picture I saw today on Hubby's phone.  Meeting my baby for the first time <3.

She loves bath time!