My dad didn't mean any harm by not helping, he was just never asked. I don't think it occurred to him to help out around the house because he wasn't asked to do so as he was growing up. My grandmother never demanded household chores from her sons, only her daughters. I guess in Korea circa 1950s, gender roles weren't something to be messed with and so I conclude that my parents are just a product of their time. This isn't true for every family but it's what I speculate from what I see with my parents.
As my mother's daughter I feel this need to bear all the weight of running my house on my shoulders, doing it all perfectly and not complaining because that's what I saw growing up. It's not to say I don't enjoy doing these things because I love to cook, I like things cleaned and done my way and I cherish my role as the heart of this house. But sometimes a girl needs a break, am I right?
I rarely saw my mom kick up her heels, relax and do nothing after dinner or on weekends. She was constantly in the kitchen or doing something around the house and while she loved doing all these things I'm sure she could've used a guilty soap opera marathon or a nice foot massage. If I could go back in time, I'd give her a "CLOSED" sign to hang on her door so she could enjoy some quiet time.
As Emily grows up, I don't want her to think that she too will have to do it all and do it perfectly if she doesn't find the joy in being domestic. She'll be watching and learning from me so I'll have to remind myself that dishes will get done one way or the other, the house will get cleaned, the laundry will be done eventually and in the meantime, I'll kick up my heels, snuggle with her and read a book together.
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